The 10 Worst Celebrity Excuses Ever

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Over the years there has been some absolutely ridiculous excuses from celebrities when they try to get out of trouble with the law, here is a list of the top 10 worst excuses:
10. Nicole Richie’s Menstrual Cramps
Back in 2006, Richie was arrested after being pulled over for driving on the wrong side of the road. She was issued a DUI charge and confessed to smoking weed and using Vicodin beforehand. When questioned about the Vicodin, Richie claimed she only took it because of her bout with bad menstrual cramps. Um, TMI.
9. Lindsay Lohan’s Stolen Passport
After missing her DUI process hearing because she was partying it up in Cannes, Lindsay claimed her dear passport got stolen while she was lounging on luxurious French yachts. The judge didn’t buy it and issued a bench warrant for her arrest and set bail at $100,000. She got a new passport and posted bail, but it made for a typical LiLo moment.
8. Britney’s Blames Bad Parenting on Louisiana
Normal people everywhere freaked when they saw the photo of Britney driving with her 4-month-old baby, Sean Preston, on her lap back in 2006. Charges weren’t pressed because the lack of evidence as to where it happened, but Brit blamed the paparrazzi and the fact that she’s Southern. She told Matt Lauer, “I did it with my dad. I’d sit on his lap and I drive. We’re country.” Like we couldn’t tell by your trashy trucker hats and run-down cowboy boots.
7. Whitney’s Too Rich for Crack
In 2002, Whitney Houston gave an infamous interview with Diane Sawyer about her album, “Just Whitney,” which turned into long-winded questioning about her alleged drug abuse. In response to the claims, she said, “First of all, let’s get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let’s get that straight. Okay? We don’t do crack. We don’t do that. Crack is wack.” Quite a cute poem if you ask me.
6. Jeffrey Donovan Blames the Benadryl
Burn Notice star Jeffrey Donovan was pulled over last summer in Miami on suspicion of drunk driving. The 41-year-old actor told police that he only had three drinks at the Fontainebleau Hotel. He then failed a sobriety test and claimed, “The only mistake I made tonight was drinking Benadryl with 3 glasses of wine.” Bloodshot eyes don’t lie, Jeff.
5. Paris Hilton’s Chewing Gum
Probably the most recent celebrity excuse given was that of Paris Hilton who claimed to have thought that the cocaine she was carrying was merely gum. Cops pulled over the car of her boyfriend Cy Waits after smelling marijuana. While getting questioned, she asked to put on some lip balm (paps were filming after all) and the baggy fell from her purse. Las Vegas prosecuters didn’t believe she was that naive (surprise!) and charged her with a felony drug possession. She later pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors and was sentenced to probation, community service, fines and a court-ordered drug abuse program.
4. Tom Sizemore’s Package Problems
Actor Tom Sizemore was caught using a prosthetic penis called “The Whizzinator” to pass a random drug test given by his court-ordered drug rehab councelor at the Tarzana Treatment Center in 2007. He actually seemed to get away with it until they asked for him to take another test because the urine didn’t seem warm enough. He then pulled the device from the trash can and confessed to using crystal meth. I couldn’t make this stuff up.
3. Eddie Murphy’s Philanthropic Prostitute Ways
Eddie Murphy claims he was just being a good Samaritan in 1997 when cops pulled him over and found a male transvestite prostitute in his car. Murphy claimed he was giving the poor 20-year-old a much-needed ride home, something small compared to the thousands of dollars he hands out to other hookers. “When I’m doing something charitable, I’m not doing it for publicity,” he said. “When I do something, it’s out of the goodness of my heart.” Um…or another part of his body.
2. Winona’s Klepto Research
Winona Ryder was arrested in December 2001 for shoplifting over $5,500 worth of designer clothes and accessories from a Saks Fifth Avenue store in Beverly Hills. She claimed it was a “misunderstanding” and that she was just researching for an upcoming role. Of course, nobody bought that story and she was convicted of felony grand theft and vandalism (later reduced to midemeanors). She was also sentenced to three years probation as well as fines and restitution, comunity service and a counceling program. All because she didn’t want to dip into her million-dollar savings account.
1. Larry Craig’s Wide Stance
The former republican politician was arrested outside a men’s restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in June 2007 on suspicion of lewd conduct. An undercover police officer said Craig was trying to solicit sexual activity by making signals under the stall. Craig claimed he just has a naturally “wide stance” and was trying to pick off paper from the floor. Um, what? Ew. That’s almost worse. He later pleaded guilty to a disorderly conduct charge and unsurprisngly resigned from his Senate post.
Pretty good list but I would have included Jeremy Piven and his mercury poisoning excuse to the list.